SINÉAD

 

She was not what we expected. 

The world knew her for her incredible & now iconic version of “Nothing Compares 2 U”, the chart topping song penned by Prince that arguably became her signature song and launched her into the stratosphere with pop music royalty like the song’s writer.

In hindsight NC2U might have been more of a curse than a blessing. Soon came scandal: that infamous Saturday Night Live Pope photo situation that derailed what her handlers at the time saw was sure to be an epic career.

And it was epic. Just not in the way they wanted. 

Thats because Sinéad did it her way: vulnerable, exposed, raw, beautiful, exquisite, soft and hard. 

Just like her life. 

Many things have been written about Sinéad’s past, specifically about the many types of abuse she suffered at the hands of mother; for me, it wouldn’t make sense to rehash it here. Not anymore. Those scars & stories should be left for her to tell you through her music: Troy, Fire on Babylon, A Perfect Indian to name a few. 

What she was was a woman living on the edge of some mixture of an an emotional break through and breakdown. Those emotions and feelings were real and razor sharp, so cutting that there was no doubt every lyric she sang was a dagger to her heart— in turn becoming a dagger to ours if you listened long enough. 

She was tormented by the ghosts that haunted her life but damn it, who isn’t? Sinéad was just brave enough to explore her pain by letting the whole world know about it in the most beautiful voice ever heard. She wanted us to know who she really was by letting us learn who we really were…our own secret pains were hers too. We weren’t alone after all! 

She wasn’t guarded about these secrets. She was honest. She wasn’t hiding it, she didn’t pretend to be happy when she was sad or sad when she was happy. The emotions you got from her in any given song or interview or essay were real and in the moment. She wasn’t about to put up any kind of facade for the sake of selling records. What you got was always a Shakespearian tragedy in musical form written and performed for all the world to see and hear. 

She was in your face truth. 

Her truth. That’s what I loved about her. 

Sinead O’Connor was a deep ocean, complex and troubled but she wasn’t all trauma and pain. She was fierce! She supported LGBTQ causes and women’s rights in her own backyard of very Catholic and conservative Ireland where in the very early 90s, topics like that were practically ignored by many famous people. She was among a hand full that dared to go there and speak up. 

In interviews too she was funny, super witty and had a megawatt smile that lit up the screen. She seemed shy too at times. Her giant eyes had a special twinkle that signaled a mischievous quality like she had a joke to tell us. And sometimes she did, usually punctuated with a curse word or two. 

She was unique. Singular. Like no one else. Perhaps she pushed us too much when we weren’t ready but that’s what true legitimate artistry does. It pushes us to the lines we’re too afraid to cross on our own. 

She wasn’t afraid to cross. She would cross with us.

No she was not what we expected. And thank god for that. 

Thank god for Sinéad. She fucking mattered.